Republican Jackass of the Week

It's a triple this week.

Republican Texas Representative Louie Gohmert, Republican Texas Senator (by way of Canada) Raphael Cruz, and Republican Texas Governor Wayne Abbott.


These three have become irrationally convinced, by the far rightwing extremist Teabaggers in that state, that Texas is about to be "taken over" and forcibly put under "martial law."

How did these geniuses come up with this?

Because the US military is performing standard training exercises in the state, as it has for many years. That's it.

Governor Abbott is so panicky about this that he's actually called out the Texas State Guard to "monitor" the military's exercises.

Note to Gohmert, Cruz and Abbott: the USA already owns Texas. There's no need for a takeover. If anything, we should probably give it away to the highest bidder.

And even if that "Socialist, Muslim, Kenyan tyrant" was going to invade and conquer Texas, do they really think their state guard will be able to hold back the US military with a yearly budget of around $700,000,000,000?

Think about that for a moment. All these far rightwing self-proclaimed "patriots" are gearing up for war against the USA and its military. Nothing seditious about that.

So Iraq's Coming Apart at the Seams

What a surprise.

This is a country that will never be a democracy and will never end hostilities within its borders. It's made up of three basic factions: two crazy nutjob religious groups that can't stand each other (Sunnis and Shiites) and terrorist extremists.

Yet it was relatively stable under the dictatorship of Saddam Hussein until Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld and the rest of these far rightwing military geniuses decided to use 9/11 as an excuse to lie us into attacking, occupying and destabilizing it.

Remember all the blatant lies about "weapons of mass destruction," "ties to 9/11" and "smoking guns"? Those words were drummed into the heads of Congress and the American people to gin up approval for the Unnecessary War Against the Wrong Country, also known as the War to Make Dick Cheney's Halliburton a Fortune.

Yes, we temporarily took over some of the cities in Iraq. But we were not about to stay there forever. Whether we left in 2011, 2012, or waited until 2018, whenever we left, the extremists, terrorists and religious nutjobs were going to create chaos once again.

And of course, now the rightwing blowhards are putting this on President Obama's doorstep. See how it is with Republicans? Lie us into an unnecessary war, destabilize the country, make a mess, walk away and blame it on the next guy.

What's he supposed to do? Put troops on the ground and start all over again? Nuke them? Use air strikes? Diplomacy? Sanctions? No matter what these rightwing chickenhawks demand, if the President does it, they'll immediately run to the cameras and deny it was their idea in the first place. (See the recent post about John McCain. He's a classic case of this mental disorder.)

And what's with the Iraqi army? Are these the dumbest, most cowardly people on Earth?

In the US military, "basic training" can run anywhere from 8-12 weeks. That's it. Unless you need specialized training, you're good to go.

Why were we told, year after year, that we needed to keep US troops in Iraq to continue training Iraqi soldiers? How many years does it take to get these people trained? Iraq must be the only country on Earth where you can spend years and years in training, and then retire having accomplished absolutely nothing.

This week many of the Iraqi troops dumped their uniforms, abandoned all the expensive equipment we handed them, and ran from a much smaller contingent of extremists who are now taking over one city after another. So why did we spend so many years training them and giving them billions of dollars in equipment? Are we supposed to stay there and babysit them forever?

And what's with these rightwing politicians who are always looking to cut unemployment benefits, welfare, school funding, kids' meals, food for the elderly and Social Security (which completely funds itself) to save a million here and a million there -- yet they're suddenly not worried about the deficit when they start salivating about spending hundreds of billions or even trillions of dollars in Iraq again?

We have to take food from Americans living in poverty, and we can't afford to rebuild crumbling schools, highways and bridges, but there's always a few hundred billion for Iraq?

And what's with Iraq's "democratically elected" puppet leader Maliki we've been propping up? This is the guy who kept insisting the US troops should leave and "stop occupying" his country. Couldn't wait to push us out the door. Now he's in a panic because these insurgents are overrunning his useless army. And of course now he wants help from the very people he kicked out.

I say don't spend another dime on this shithole. And don't risk another American life.

Unfortunately, President Obama has to be more diplomatic than I do. And he knows there are American interests at stake, including terrorism, Mideast stability, freedom for the Iraqi people, a whole lot of oil.

I say let it fall apart. It's going to anyway, sooner or later, now or in 20 years. And get ready for the same thing to happen in Afghanistan, another hotbed of crazies.

Tell me where I'm wrong.

Republican Jackass of the Week

Meet little-known Ohio congressman Mike Turner (R).

Outraged that the "sequester" has cut into the bloated Pentagon budget, now that another conflict with Syria is looming, Unknown Mike went on Fox Noise to whine about how vulnerable we allegedly are, and to blame President Obama for the defense cuts.

Nowhere did he mention that it was his own party that overwhelmingly voted for the cuts. Of course Rupert Murdock's teleprompter-reader never dared mention this obviously pertinent fact.

(House Democrats were split in their votes for and against the sequester, but House Republicans voted, by a margin of 3 to 1, in favor of passing it.)

Whine all you want, Jackass. Your party is responsible for it.

Mike Turner, our Regressive republican Jackass of the Week.

Republican Jackass of the Week Part 1

We have two this week.

First, it's Georgia's Republican Senator Saxby Chambliss.

While sexual assaults in the military are currently at staggering levels, this guy shrugs it off and runs to the old "boys will be boys" excuse.

Says Saxby: "The young folks coming into each of your services, are anywhere from 17 to 22. Gee whiz, the hormone level created by nature sets in place the possibility for these types of things to occur." That's actually what he said, into a mic, for the world to hear, in front of cameras and other magical recording devices, to top military officials at a Senate Armed Services Committee.

See? Don't think of it as a violent criminal assault.

Think of it as just a bunch of guys responding to hormones.

Gee whiz.

Except, of course, the officer in charge of the Air Force's sexual prevention program who was arrested for assault is 41. And the manager of the sexual harassment and assault response program in Fort Campbell, Kentucky, recently arrested for a domestic assault, is 42.

Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel has called military sexual assaults "a scourge," and promised to make addressing them a top priority. A recent Pentagon report estimated as many as 26,000 service members may have been assaulted in 2012.

But hey, brush it off as "hormones."

You're a Jackass. Our Republican Jackass of the Week, Part One. The certificate's in the mail.

Tomorrow it's the regularly scheduled Friday Jackass of the Week.