Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Who Won Super Tuesday? President Obama

I couldn't be happier with the Regressives' turnout and results last night.

Willard dog-on-roof Romney is closer to getting the nomination for the Regressive party, but the win wasn't definitive, so the hair pulling and mud wrestling continue for our entertainment!

Newton Grinch won a single state but his massive ego, combined with his desperation in knowing that this is the last chance for this fat, elderly, hopeless little man will keep him in the race. That will splinter off enough far rightwing votes from Little Ricky man-on-dog Santorum to keep him behind Willard.

And every state has had far fewer Regressive voters than those who turned out 4 years ago. They are bored and can't stand any of their cartoonish choices, so they're not even bothering to vote in the primaries.

So Newton sticks around a little longer and tries to win a few of the upcoming southern states, funded by a single billionaire sugar-daddy, Sheldon Adelson.

Pope Santorum grabs a small handful of delegates and continues to battle the robotic flip flopper from Massachusetts.

And Willard will eventually limp, bruised and battered, across the finish line, only to have to begin battling President Obama.

You almost have to feel sorry for him.

I DID say "almost."

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