Saturday, September 15, 2012

The Regressive Republicans' Perfect Candidate

Why don't the Regressive republicans just run Jesus for President? Because according to their bible, he stands for everything they can't stand.

"Wouldn't it be great if we could find a way to get Jesus of Nazareth to come back and run for president on the Republican ticket?

Wouldn't the GOP love to get behind a guy who was a peaceful, radical, non-violent revolutionary who hung around with lepers, hookers and criminals, who never spoke English, who was not an American citizen; a man who is anti-capitalism, anti-wealth, anti-public prayer -- yes he was, Matthew 6:5 -- anti-death penalty, but never once remotely anti-gay, didn't mention abortion, didn't mention pre-marital sex, a man who never justified torture, never called the poor "lazy," who never asked a leper for a co-pay, who never fought for tax cuts for the wealthiest Nazarenes, and who was a long-haired, brown skinned -- that's in Revelations -- homeless, Middle Eastern Jew.

Of course that's only if you believe what's actually in the bible."

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