Why don't the Regressive republicans just run Jesus for President? Because according to their bible, he stands for everything they can't stand.
"Wouldn't it be great if we could find a way to get Jesus of Nazareth to come back and run for president on the Republican ticket?
Wouldn't the GOP love to get behind a guy who was a peaceful, radical, non-violent revolutionary who hung around with lepers, hookers and criminals, who never spoke English, who was not an American citizen; a man who is anti-capitalism, anti-wealth, anti-public prayer -- yes he was, Matthew 6:5 -- anti-death penalty, but never once remotely anti-gay, didn't mention abortion, didn't mention pre-marital sex, a man who never justified torture, never called the poor "lazy," who never asked a leper for a co-pay, who never fought for tax cuts for the wealthiest Nazarenes, and who was a long-haired, brown skinned -- that's in Revelations -- homeless, Middle Eastern Jew.
Of course that's only if you believe what's actually in the bible."